You're hired...

Tonight the UK sees the culmination of TV series The Apprentice. The Apprentice claims to take some of the most talented young business people in the UK and pit them against each other to find a winner. The winner gets a £100,000 per year job with business genius and professional grump Sir Alan Sugar.

The Apprentice is the acceptable face of reality TV. It is the (not so) secret pleasure of the chattering classes. People who would never watch Big Brother, Britain’s Got Talent or any one of the other 100 reality TV shows, happily converge around the water cooler to argue the merits of different candidates as they try to one up on each other on a weekly basis.

The final comes hot on the heels of one of the more memorable events of the series: the interviews (link only works in UK). In this the remaining candidates are interviewed by top UK business people to find chinks in their armour and lies on their CV. It is compelling stuff because you just know that, at some point, someone is going to be caught out in a spectacular fashion.

Job interviews are something I really do not miss. If I never have to conduct one again, I could not be happier and if I ever get down about running my own business, the thought of interviewing or being interviewed is enough to put me back on the straight and narrow.

I was never much good at interviewing people, but by far my strangest experiences have been being interviewed for jobs. I went for an interview with Enron at one point and was promised an exciting future. Not sure they could have predicted how exciting, but fortunately it came to nothing.

I was once interviewed by a huge company (one of the largest in the world) for a role. We spoke for two hours. I was very honest in saying that I was not sure if I wanted to be considered for the role but wanted to know more. It was a good, honest and motivating conversation. What followed was, well….nothing. No further communication whatsoever. No “thanks but no thanks”, no “see us again”, no feedback, positive or negative. Maybe I was that awful that I did not ever warrant a letter or the price of a stamp. All the same, basic courtesy states that some form of response would have been helpful.

I was interviewed four times by another company for a role. This involved several trips to London and a Sunday morning “coffee and croissant” bonding session with one of the people I would be working with. After the fourth interview, radio silence began for a week. I thought nothing more of it. A week later a pretty angry HR person rang me. The company was annoyed with the fact I had not responded to their offer. I had not had an offer. When the checked it out, they admitted that they had forgotten to make one. At that point I decided to rule myself out. If they did not know if they had made me an offer or not, I was worried they would forget to pay me.

Most bizarre of all was another interview with a well known company. Having been asked to take various psychometric tests in advance of the interview, I was invited in to get feedback on the results. They were (much to my surprise) positive. Apparently I had all the qualities to fulfil the role. Next came an HR interview. All good so far. Finally I was due to meet someone who I would be working closely with. Only nobody could find her. In the end the slightly harassed (and very embarrassed) HR Manager gave up his search and advised that this part of the interview process would not be possible today and would have to be conducted in the future.

I bid my farewells and walked to the car. As I reached the car the HR guy chased up to me. Great news! He had found the person for the interview and it could now go ahead.

Of course by this point I was mentally elsewhere. I had checked out of interview mode and was very much in pub mode. It was not the best preparation for an interview. What followed was a polite but stilted ten minute interview but I had already decided not to pursue this one further.

All this makes me think that the production team of The Apprentice have got it right. Job interviews are a pretty poor way to find out if someone is suitable for your organisation. But watching someone else get interviewed can make for great entertainment for the rest of us.